


How They Got To The Starblaster.

by blablablaaaa



Category: The Adventure Zone (Podcast)
Genre: Angst with a Happy Ending, Backstory, Episode: e060-066 The Stolen Century Parts 1-7, Family, Flashbacks, Fluff and Angst, Found Family, Friendship, IPRE Crew - Freeform, Institute of Planar Research and Exploration, Spoilers for Episode: e060-066 The Stolen Century Parts 1-7, Team as Family
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-04-22
Updated: 2020-05-30
Packaged: 2021-03-01 20:08:25
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 7
Words: 6,538
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23782906
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/blablablaaaa/pseuds/blablablaaaa
Summary: 7 birds.Who were they before the Hunger?How did they join the Starblaster?Why would they find in each other a family?We gotta go back to understand the present.
Relationships: Barry Bluejeans & Taako, Barry Bluejeans/Lup, Davenport (The Adventure Zone) & Everyone, Lup & Taako (The Adventure Zone), Magnus Burnsides & Merle Highchurch & Taako, The Director | Lucretia & Taako
Comments: 5
Kudos: 22





	1. Taako Growing Up

**Author's Note:**

> I’m quarantined so yeah, no one tell my boss I’m ignoring her on Zoom to write this, k?
> 
> Important for upcoming Lup chapter: I am a cis woman. I did ask a trans friend of mine to read her chapter to check if everything was accurate and respectful, but I’m open to criticism and well, let’s see how this fic goes :)
> 
> Thanks for reading it!

He was sitting by a river, if he remembers correctly, and Lup was sitting by his side.

He can’t possibly know how old he was at this point, Taako realizes his memories are more attached to how he felt back then, as to how scenes played out, specifically.

And as Taako tries to rest, a night before they’re finally about to go off into the sky aboard the Starblaster, it’s his memories that slowly lull his drunken-self asleep.

So Taako remember this river he sat by with Lup, in some very fancy clothes he remembers loving very much, and a Teddy Bear the siblings had. He’s not sure weather they took the bear with them when they finally left to live with their father. They probably did, but he couldn’t be sure.

After all, why was he so concerned about not remembering a toy, when he couldn’t remember his own mother?

He doesn’t remember her face, but he swears he remembers her voice. Lup’s the other way around. She swears she could paint a fucking portrait before trying to guess what she sounded like. He feels like he should feel bad for not remembering, but he’s not sure. He knows Lup does, and it’s always been his job to say “she probably would’ve been as cold and distant as grandma and grandpa” to make her feel less guilty. He has the impression the trick might have worked better on him than her though.

Dad. Think about dad. Taako does remember dad. The first memory from the lake, with the fancy clothes and the Teddy Bear, was from the day dad came to get them. Ok, so they definitely took the bear with them to dad’s house. Cool, one mystery was solved.

The twins had lived with their mom at her family home, only seeing their dad for a couple of hours after he got off from work. Their parents had a fun, forbidden relationship that for all he’s ever heard, fulfilled his mother’s need for adrenaline and that was everything she needed.

The last name Lup and Taako didn’t take was one of prestige. Their grandparents were nobles, and had two daughters who they planned to have married off to someone closer to royalty than themselves. Had their mother been a little more comfortable with her aristocratic lifestyle, their plan would’ve worked.

Or maybe, they should have just stuck with that old human as a gardener, rather than hiring a new one.

That’s how their parents met, and how their short lives embezzled with lots of riches and little affection soon became a life of necessity.

Taako’s dad taught him how to fish. He was a no-name who fell for the daughter of his rich bosses and was just happy she reciprocated. One time, Taako asked him if he was happy when him and Lup were born. Dad said yes. He said their mother was too, but Taako didn’t remember her being nearly as warm.

Then again, now, as an adult, he didn’t remember her at all. Maybe she had been happy. Maybe she did want them too.

But he was certain their grandparents didn’t. Their mother fell ill when they were very little. Taako doesn’t remember her face, but he remembers her saying she was feeling very tired. She died, and maybe two or three days later, their rich grandparents had him and Lup out of their lives forever.

This is where Taako finds himself resenting them. Couldn’t they at least send their grandkids some money? Let their dad keep his job, at least? 

Because if two kids and an adult living in a shack was already a reality shock for Lup and Taako, it seemed like his dad had a different job every time he thought of asking. He once took them to learn how to plant crops for a farm nearby. He remembers loving their little adventure, but never hearing about it again afterwards.

Lup was the one who noticed he wasn’t going to the farm. Taako wrote it off as family time, but really, by logic, dad had to go to work. Why wasn’t he going? 

Lup also noticed first how sad he was. Dad could smile, but only for a bit, before loosing himself in thought. Taako and Lup had a serious, grown up conversation that night. He always chuckles fondly upon thinking about how important they felt. They had decided they were going to become heroes, save everyone ever and get the money they needed to buy their dad a fountain of candy, so he would never be sad again.

He didn’t remember whether that had been his or Lup’s idea. Honestly, he still thinks it holds up. He probably would get his dad a fountain of candy if he still were around.

One day, their father took them to the train station, and told them to wait for a woman named Marina. He said she was his sister, and she would look after them while he looked for a job. That was the last time they ever saw their dad.

Taako turned in his bed, and decided those were the memories worth remembering. The solid ones. The good ones with Auntie Mari. When he and Lup had nice clothes and toys again. When he didn’t feel like he had to try to make Auntie happy all the time. When him and Lup got to go to school for the first time and, as far as he’s concerned, this secret goes to the grave with him, when he discovered he loved learning new things.

Life was so good he sometimes forgot when things got terrible again, when Auntie told them dad had suffered an accident while working on a building, and was, now, with mommy, in the sky. Or when Lup’s agony with her body became bigger than her ability to distract herself with whatever games they were playing. His memories of being with Auntie and Lup were too good to be anything other than perfect, so he didn’t think about these moments.

He just focused on having had a great Auntie and a great sister, and that was all he needed to fall asleep for, what would be, the last time he slept on his plane.


	2. Merle Growing Up

Pan Camp was a weird place to grow up, if you were to compare it to a nuclear family upbringing.

Merle had parents, of course, but their relationship wasn’t so private. Honestly, Merle never knew how to explain how he was more brought up by a community than the model of a family everyone else is used to.

This was on his mind, because as he was about to go on a long mission, with 6 other fellas he’d only sort of met, he might have to do some explaining again.

It never bothered him that much. He just wasn’t too fond of how it put him on the outskirts of society. When he left his community, he understood why no one else ever did.

Being raised to be a cleric, alongside other dwarflings who would all dedicate at least a portion of their lives to Pan, Merle really had some hardships adjusting to society when he first took a job as an assistant to a medical center in the Capital.

For an instance, none of the healers understood his language of plants and herbs. They knew alchemists and wizards created potions from of them, sure, but aside from a couple of obvious combinations, they took it for granted and really had no interest in understanding how wonderful nature could be. He was soon written off as this crazy newcomer who was good enough to get the job, but not good enough to be invited to a night out at the bar.

Merle never really demonstrated how hurt he was by that. Honestly, he never really demonstrated how betrayed he felt by his community either.

It wasn’t as if he didn’t love Pan, and didn’t want to be a cleric as he was raised to be. Quite the contrary! He loved Pan so much, and loved being a cleric so much, he decided he wanted to bend the rules, only so much, so he could get the word out there for other folk who might’ve need some divine guidance.

And healing? How blind could his community be to not see that it made perfect sense to be a cleric healer? One who tends for the spirit is one who tends for the body, and no one seemed to believe in that aside from Merle.

He prayed, upon coming of age, and prayed, and prayed and prayed. He hoped to hear from Pan that he should stay home, with the people he grew up with, following the traditions he was accustomed to, and try to be a good cleric to those in his community.

But his heart beat faster as he thought of leaving. He knew that he was meant to leave. If not for Pan, for himself. Merle spoke to the council with his mind set. His mission was to become a healer aided by Pan, to help whoever in need regardless, and spread a message of peace as far as he could.

The council didn’t accept his proposal to remain connected to the community. Rules were rules. If Merle were to leave, he could never come back.

So he left his family behind.

He’d been such a prodigy growing up.

Every kid wanted to be like him. Everyone was interested in him. He thought he was loved by his family, and the only people he’d ever known, only to find that no one protested against his exile. 

Every night he wondered if he had ever really been loved. Every night, he tried to convince himself that, at least, he had Pan.

He became a bitter dwarf, and all his frustration was thrown into hard work. He was not going to give up on his religion being a major part of his medical practice. He knew he was onto something and his conviction was all he needed. 

Merle had his spirituality and his science hand in hand.

But not his heart.

And that’s how he came to join this crazy mission across the Planar System.

Merle realized one day, he no longer was a bitter dwarf.

He was an old one.

An old dwarf with no wife, no children and no friends.

He had gotten prestige as a healer, but at what cost?

Had he really left the Pan Camp to die alone?

Had he lost a community to never belong again?

Joining the Institute of Planar Research and Exploration was his last attempt to change that.

And hopefully, spending a couple of months away in a mission would be what it took for him to finally bond with some people again.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ✌🏼


	3. Magnus Growing Up

Magnus had a black eye.

Not bad. Almost all of his good stories started with him getting a black eye. So this should be exciting too.

He’d always been up and out there taking the punch to defend others.

His favorite story was of the time he stood up against some bullies who were beating up a dog.

At the orphanage, it was easy to feel unimportant. Magnus always felt that, if he wasn’t friendly enough, loud enough, big enough, he would disappear inside the walls of that great, cold building.

So when he was 10, and he stood up against those bullies, and had the dog come over and lick his face as a thanks, the pain was almost completely numbed by how visible he felt.

That day had started with a black eye too, and it pretty much changed him as a person. So this Starblaster mission was off to a great start already.

Because he was 10, and his loud, brute demeanor had already scared a handful of couples who were looking for a child to adopt, Magnus decided to take on the role of the protector. He’d hang out with younger kids to make them feel safe and he made sure to introduce himself to every couple, grinning and saying he was taking care of everyone there.

They always find him adorable, not adoptable, but that’s ok. Magnus had already decided he’d rather protect than be protected. And all of the kids who were bullied, who were skinny and weak, who were too sad for adoption, or too sick for adoption, they always came for him, and Magnus always took them under his wing.

He got used to getting beaten, but he also learned how to fight back. At 14, Magnus could go out on his own, as long as he was back at the orphanage by 22pm, so he took some fighting classes for free in the Capital.

By 17 he was already a large, muscular guy, with sharp senses and proficiency with weaponry.

No one had the guts to commit bullying in the orphanage while he was there.

The only problem was, he wasn’t going to be there for long.

Magnus was going to turn 18 soon.

So he went out to do something he wasn’t proud of: pick up a random fight on the town just to get the adrenaline rush he’d need to face his problems.

He had a black eye when he heard about the IPRE. The orphanage director had called him in for a private conversation. Magnus had no idea what happened to children after they grew up there, and a small, silly side of him believed they euthanized 18 year olds like dogs, which made him both mad and scared.

But Magnus wasn’t euthanized. Quite the contrary. The director praised his dedication towards the children and his efforts to become a good warrior. He’d been so impressed he offered to recommend Magnus to become an IPRE student if he so desired.

As the director explained, the Institute was looking for several qualified young people to work on many different areas for them. They had spots for warriors, healers, wizards, scientists, writers and many other jobs. After taking a test, should the candidate be approved, they should take a three years long free course, focused on the area they were interested in working on, students would be properly hired as IPRE employees. 

Magnus remember crying a little after the director explained that, with his recommendation, Magnus wouldn’t even have to take the admission test at all.

Growing up as a number on the system, believing to be only a hindrance until figuring out how to be useful, Magnus didn’t think he could have a future so bright. He was trying so hard to escape his destiny as a simpleton. He wasn’t a genius, nor had any family connections, and despite being so friendly, he didn’t feel like anyone was as close to him as he craved.

This opportunity felt like a gift.

And now, to join in such a big mission.

Magnus had a black eye, but he felt no pain whatsoever.

He had a great feeling about what tomorrow would bring.

He had no idea how much he was going to regret not having slept that night.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Magnus seems like the type to have been a honors student


	4. Barry Growing Up

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Tw: bullying

Barry was a committed dude. He knew that from early childhood, and found his adult self proving it once more, as he packed his things to get ready for a months long mission for the Institute, the only place he had ever worked for, on all of his 40 years.

He had to laugh at how crazy this was. Barry wasn’t anything like any of his crew mates. He knew Captain Davenport pretty well, being an employee of the IPRE for almost long as himself, and Davenport was an old-fashioned Captain, with credentials and everything, and the spirit of adventure just burned inside of him. The other ones, he had had the opportunity to get to know Merle a little better, and he knew the dwarf wasn’t fooling anybody with his “I’m too old for this” attitude. Merle was bonkers. He would do something as crazy as joining a mission this dangerous with a smile on his face and a flower on his hair like he was heading to freaking Fantasy Woodstock. So yeah, Merle was rightly so on-board, and Magnus, Lup and Taako all looked so young and ready for action. Being this energetic, who wouldn’t want to travel across the planes?

Lucretia was the only one he thought maybe felt a little outcast from the group, like himself. But they didn’t talk. She was a little too close to one of the elven twins and they made him nervous. Specifically Lup.

Something about Lup made him think of how he wanted to be like as a kid. When Barry was very little, he would run around all day playing with his parents and making them laugh. His dad would call him a champion and mom genuinely thought he was going to grow up to become a knight. Barry loved this memory and yet felt so disconnected from it. He stopped being this carefree and wacky right from his first school year, when he found out his glasses weren’t cool, and his weight wasn’t cool, and liking to read and being polite to teachers wasn’t cool.

Barry didn’t know how to respond to so much pushing and teasing. This wasn’t the life he knew at home. He tried to remain quiet and invisible as much as possible, burying his head on his books, and trying to stay longer in classes, starting conversations with teachers as soon as the school bell rang, just to avoid being left alone for the boys to bully him.

This all began when Barry discovered the wonders of math. Barry became obsessed with numbers and how they worked. All throughout math classes, he would visualize his mom playing the piano back at home. One day, he was so excited to tell the teacher about his association with music, that he forgot to go to recess, and realized, the bullies didn’t get a chance to pick on him that day.

So Barry decided to commit to that. He would try to strike a conversation with whatever teacher he had, and he knew he had to engage on a long talk in order to have an excuse to miss any breaks, so he always studied ahead. He would always have burning questions that weren’t answered yet in the classroom.

Throughout his adolescence, Barry slowly accepted that his compulsive studying wasn’t simply to avoid bullying. He wanted to be everyone’s friend, and wanted to have an active social life, but his childhood in isolation made him so insecure he would freeze upon trying to interact. It was easier to just spend recess talking to teachers and studying. No one ever complained, and really, Barry loved learning new things.

He was fascinated by learning. After becoming enamored with math, Barry fell in love with grammar. He knew every order and verbal conjugation by heart, and in geography he learned the name of every capital of every country. Science classes were his favorite. He loved logic, but loved how it could be defied. Things such as chemistry and physics felt to him like challenges, and he loved how each challenge would change him as a person.

But his favorite had to be philosophy. Barry had an unexplainable fascination with death. Maybe it was because of all the bullying and the inevitable contemplation on weather or not disappearing would be a good idea, but the thought of dying, the chemical processes it triggers, how religions answer it and how philosophy try to read meaning out of death... it was scary, and yet, incredible.

If his mom thought he would become a knight when he was a boy, as a young man, she had set her hopes for a scientist for the famous IPRE. His dad woke him up one day with a flyer in his hand, from the Institute, and then took him on a field trip to see the place up close, and he knew he belonged.

He wanted to work there so bad, his college years were almost completely wiped out of his memory.

Getting his dream job was much bigger.

That feeling was the closest he had ever felt to his child-self, before school, when he felt like he could be free.

Kinda like how Lup is.

And, as Barry finishes packing, he has an inspiring thought.

He concludes that it is time to let himself be a little like that boy. 

He was a committed dude. When he decided learning was the most important thing of his life, he kept his promise. When he decided to work for the IPRE, he kept his promise.

And now, he was going to commit to be an adventurer.

He couldn’t even wait.


	5. Davenport Growing Up

Davenport knew he was an odd sight. The Institute of Planar Research and Exploration had a very colorful cast, truly, but seeing a Gnome on such an environment was as rare as seeing a Firbolg in a school. Gnomes were known to be an artistic kind. He, himself grew up hopping from one wagon to another, on his family’s traveling circus.

Gnomes were resourceful, playful, had an eye for art, and usually built their communities on the outdoors, never stayed long enough to call anywhere a home. It was odd to see one on a 9 to 5 job. Davenport knew that, as he marched down the hallway proudly showcasing his medals, as visitors of the IPRE museum watched him go.

Davenport laughed to himself. He understood why everyone thought it was weird. Gnomes were so out of societal norms other races often adhered to the “Gnome Lifestyle”. When he was a kid, his parents used to host some young folks who were trying to “drop out and tune in”. Humans, and Half Elves were common, but they once had a Half Orc over who was really trying very hard to cut any meat from his diet. Davenport never knew weather he succeeded, and didn’t think he would ever.

Being born a Gnome... Davenport always felt a little out of place. All of his siblings seemed to be comfortable with their lives, outside of society, smoking pipe from an early age and crafting most of their own stuff. Something about this made him uneasy. He loved his family, he loved traveling, but can you really be happy when you know something is missing?

What was missing was love.

He came to this conclusion when he realized he loved the stars. As he looked up into an infinity of shining stars, he realized he loved them almost as one would love a lover. He loved their beauty, he loved how they made him feel, and he knew he had never loved anything as much before.

It is pretty poetic to fall in love with a star. 

Davenport, however, was no poet. 

Words didn’t flow from his mouth in a song like a bard. He couldn’t sow, nor paint, and he gave up on pottery on day one. What was the use of a Gnome in love with the stars who couldn’t do art if he tried.

So he went to the library instead. In every town they hopped, Davenport spent most of his time in the local library. As he grew older, he took some odd jobs to buy himself astronomy books. And since he was at it, why not study physics too? 

Some Gnomes went to school, but his parents never seemed to care very much for it, until his mom asked him if he wanted to give it a try. She was worried he’d be bullied for being raised the way he was, but frankly, Davenport was not in it to make friends. He wanted to study and learn everything there was to know about the Planar System.

What better love letter than that? 

He applied for a job at the IPRE three times.

Once as an alchemist.

Than as a astrophysicist.

And after being hired as an astrophysicist, he joined a research group that was working on a ship, made for them to travel through the planar system for the very first time. 

He couldn’t be just another scientist in the room, so he made the boldest move of his life.

Quit his dream job to join the navy.

To spend some godawful years under rigorous training and mockery for his flower power upbringing, endless discussions about the morality of an institution so brutal as the army, which ended with him becoming estranged from his family, and sailing through some of the worst storms anyone has ever faced...

To get his honors as a Captain and go back to the IPRE.

And once again, he got his job.

It was impossible to not know Captain Davenport after that either. People often wondered weather this ship would be ready in time for Davenport to sail it. It was almost like an inside joke amongst researchers that they had simply been hired to make Davenport’s dreams come true. Once, speaking with his good friend Barry Bluejeans, he discovered they even had even thought of naming the ship after him, but they settled on Starblaster instead because it sounded more rad.

Deep down, Davenport wondered if this is what his family felt towards living as a drop out. This deep feeling of belonging.

He hoped it was that, because he had never felt better.

Davenport could barely wait to set sail tomorrow.


	6. Lucretia Growing Up

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Heyy, I got crazy busy with work these last few days. I’ve had this whole thing planned out in my head from the start and it’s been so frustrating to not have time to write it.
> 
> Hopefully my intense schedule will become more manageable.
> 
> (Also yeah, I miiiight have projected a bit here, please remind me to tell my therapist that)
> 
> Hope you all enjoy the chapter and sorry I took so long to update it.

Lucretia came home earlier than the rest of the crew that night. She was not really into drinking, and it was needless to say the shy author hired to document their mission was not very comfortable around so many people. 

Lucretia liked people. Just not the same way other people liked people.

She was an observer. She’s always been one. She remembers being very young and figuring out a pattern of behaviors her parents and siblings had. Her oldest sister spoke loudly when she was passionate about a subject. One of her younger brothers had a tendency to roll his eyes when he was bored. Her family usually played a great part on her studies of human behavior.

Growing up on such a full household made her a natural at it. For starters, she had 5 siblings. Her parents had raised them in her great-grandmother’s house, who was a very old lady Lucretia wasn’t sure she’d ever really distinguished her from the other girls in the house. The whole family consisted of her parents and her 5 siblings, amongst them, her older sister with her husband and their twins (who were older than Lucretia, even though she was technically their aunt), her uncle Jerry, his son and his motorcycle he insisted was a family member, her other aunt, her uncle and their 3 daughters, her grandmother, 3 dogs and a cat.

Unsurprisingly, the only one Lucretia actually identified with, was the cat.

She loved her comically large family. She really did. She loved the way the dynamics would shift between each “group”. How the older kids had their comradely in games and the younger kids had a mutual understanding on their attempt of keeping up. She loved the unavoidable sisterhood between the girls and she admired her older sister, who was a mom and still managed to easily flow between “the adults” and “the kids” like nothing in the world mattered.

But being a part of a family so big sometimes felt like a curse for someone as introverted as herself.

She has always been a quiet kid. She was shy and obedient, always observing and very rarely reacting. For unknown reasons, fate granted her social anxiety from what seemed to be the beginning of her life, and it she hated feeling so detached from everybody.

Not only they were many, but they were very noisy. 19 people living under the same roof was a recipe for attention seekers. Every family dinner was filled with shouting and loud laughter, coming from people cutting each other off and bouncing from subject to subject as everyone fought for the spotlight for a second.

Except for Lucretia and her great-grandma, as she barely spoke anymore.

Lucretia was quiet. Lucretia was well behaved. Her easy demeanor won her teachers over, but made her feel like a shadow in her home. She had terrible nightmares of having her mouth sown shut, and other dreams involving her mouth, and she had no idea how to make it all stop.

How to be seen. How to be heard.

Lucretia found solace in writing.

She quickly discovered being an observer was a great skill to have as a writer. Her excellent grades encouraged her to enter a couple of literary contests. She never made it less than third place. Her essays were pointed when they had to be, straight forward if it was required and beautifully poetic when she had the freedom to be so. Writing and competing made her family recognize her. And it was as exciting as it was scary.

As she got older, she realized success was a double-edged sword. On her early teens, a big paper in town ran a contest in which the winner would have the opportunity to publish monthly short stories. Lucretia won, and thus began to pour her adolescent angst onto the paper, filling her meta with beautiful stories about her dreams, her family, her need to be seen and her need to share those feelings.

It was a hit. On month one she got a large sum of letters praising her work. On month four, she got an invitation to write for another paper as well. On month nine, however, her column got some bad attention from the elven aristocracy, and they made their disdain very clear. On month ten, she had to re-write her story, as dwarves had strict laws against non-dwarvens writing about their communities. On month fifteen, a fan of hers, who wrote her frequently, began to demonstrate an uncomfortable amount of intimacy on her letters. On month sixteen, she got yet another job, being now a writer for three different publishers.

Then, on her seventeenth birthday, and twenty months of professional writing, her great-grandmother died.

And she realized, she hadn’t known her at all.

Her family’s heavy mourning felt so alien. Lucretia lived with these people and felt like an observer. She stood by her great-grandma’s grave as she hugged her mother, longing for a connection, and not really receiving.

She quit her jobs that night, and left her family home a year later. She spent every day and every night wondering when she had lost her family after all. Was it because of her job? Has she never had a place amongst them in reality?

She didn’t know. She didn’t know wether she wanted to know.

Lucretia spent those first adult years being a ghost writer. Earning good money for some solid writing, from the shadows. It was easier to write what she was told than try to open her heart to a world she knew would betray her.

Sometime later, she realized she was doing to herself what she did to her family.

She was letting Lucretia fade away.

Joining the IPRE was meant to be a new beginning. She’d join the mission and report it, under her own name, and, as soon as possible, Lucretia would go back to writing.

She didn’t want to hide anymore.

And tomorrow, she would write about the stars.


	7. Lup Growing Up

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> TW for Dysphoria.
> 
> I did seek out opinions from trans women I know regarding this chapter. They were super kind and agreed to read it and help me with writing it, but I am cis. Please let me know if anything’s off with this, and if there’s a way I can edit this chapter and make it better.
> 
> Also I’m so sorry this one took so long. I gor RIDICULOUSLY addicted to Dead By Daylight and let it consume my life lol.
> 
> I promise I’m not taking this long anymore :)

Shortly before Auntie got sick, she had taught Lup how to fry things. While Taako liked baking and carefully measuring spices and reading recipes, Lup was fascinated by all of the kitchen stuff Auntie deemed too dangerous for kids to handle. She loved watching Auntie magically lit the fire in the oven, loved seeing her wielding those sharp, threatening knives, and loved how, sometimes, you could actually get burned from frying things. It wasn’t the pain Lup was craving. Pain was a simple consequence of thrill seeking. She’d say out and proud she was born an adrenaline junkie, so much so that simply being allowed to finally use the frying pan for her already made her unbelievably happy. Lup loved climbing trees and entering caves around the rural area they lived in with their aunt. She’d always been a vibrant soul who lead the way through all of the games she and Taako came up with alongside their neighbors. Being like that empowered her in a way it would take years for Lup to finally comprehend. When she was a kid, all she knew was that she needed to rush into adventure, she had to do it to feel alive. Also, adventuring helped her to not think too much about some things that scared her. When you’re busy flying a kite, Lup found out, you don’t have time to think about the size of your feet. Auntie had said once that, if a child’s feet is big, they’re very likely to grow very tall in the future. And Lup didn’t want to be tall. Another example: a neighbor once came to visit their Auntie and sell her some chickens, and saw Lup and Taako tending to the crops together for a minute, as Autie spoke to him. He was a nice, very friendly man, who then turned to them and said “look at these two strong boys you got there, Ms. Mari! Those shoulders are promising you a lot of help in the farm in the future.” He meant no harm, Lup knew that, but that comment made her feel like she had just been bitten by a poisonous snake, and she could do anything about it, other than let those words slowly infect her as they completely took over her life. Lup liked running because then, she wouldn’t have to think about her shoulders. Lup never looked in the mirror to avoid seeing her ever growing nose. Lup loved taking baths, but dreaded the moments she had to get ready for one, because she hated how disconnected she felt from her body. Frying an egg was nothing compared to this everyday anguish. However there’s only so much distraction can do, as she would soon find out. Lup suspected her mind drew the line when Auntie got sick. The years they spent with her were so nice and stable she almost forgot how it was like to feel abandoned by the world. Taako found Auntie unconscious on her room and it was up to Lup to run and get help. She remembers running feeling like her entire soul had shattered. She knew she wouldn’t be able to keep it in anymore. Lup got a doctor to come over and rescue Auntie. He really tried to be comforting in telling them there wasn’t much he could do at this point. As Taako held her and cried, Lup felt very pointedly how fragile life was. She cried. She cried for Auntie, she cried for Taako and she cried for herself. Lup learned that day that it was impossible to tell when destiny would blow the candle of everybody’s life, and it terrified her to the core. Being alive became an emergency for her. On one of their last nights in Auntie’s home, she told her brother about everything. She told him how she felt about herself. And Taako promised he would do his best to get used to calling her a sister. She also told him they couldn’t live like this anymore. Auntie hadn’t even died yet and they were already speaking to orphanage managers and possible family friends to take them in. It took them only 6 months to realize they would never have a stable home again. They had fallen into a sad routine of going for adoption, moving in with a foster family, going back to the orphanage, until Lup finally got sick of so many people who knew nothing about her demanding she’d behave differently. Taako snapped before she had a chance to truly rebel. He had always been more laid back than her, but Taako’s reactive nature never meant he wouldn’t stand up for himself. It was as if he was constantly analyzing the world around him, and waiting for the perfect moment to make his mark. Their third foster family had many kids. They lived in a farm and had to have as many helping hands as possible. “Fuck that” Taako woke Lup in the middle of the night and told her to run. She did. They ran into the woods and followed a stream of water, as it slowly grew into a river and lead them to a nearby county. God bless their father for teaching them how to fish, so they’d have something to sell when stores opened. The twins were smart. Taako lied about being sent to sell some fish for their father and Lup bought them a bag, a map, and a book on how to make medicine from herbs and weeds, should they ever need it. She also took a tiny booklet called “Simple Spells for a Beginner’s Witch”, and off they went. And they walked. They knew how to survive in the woods and knew they had to avoid going to counties and villages, where the authorities might find them. Everyday, Taako made sure to call her his sister. Everyday, Lup replied she loved him. A week later they ran into a group of Dragonborns, from a traveling clan, who took pity of these two young runaway Elves. They fed them, offered them a bed to sleep, and the next morning, Lup woke up to Taako negotiating their safety. Taako had offered that they would cook for the clan, in exchange for their protection as they travelled far away from the area he and Lup grew up on. It was an easy yes. The learder of the clan explained they were going to The Capital and it was the best place to be for the twins to start their lives anew. Taako and Lup worked and travelled and learned they were a powerful working unit, and were absolutely unstoppable when they teamed up. It took them only a couple of hours, upon arriving at The Capital, for the two young Elves to find work. Lup and Taako were hired to wipe kitchen floors and peel potatoes, and worked their way up from there. When they weren’t working, they were studying magic. The IPRE headquarters was across the street from one of the restaurants they worked on, and Lup knew she and her brother would only really be able to have a better lifestyle if they got in there. The Institute had scholarships, dorms and almost a guaranteed job for them after graduation. And they made it. This journey was the freedom Lup needed. Freedom from her broken family ties, freedom from her body, freedom from her hard life. She took a shot that night for everything she hoped to leave behind once they left on their Starblaster. She drunkenly hugged her brother and shouted into the night that they were leaving “all that crap” behind. Lup felt this was the beginning of something great. She could barely wait to go.

**Author's Note:**

> Please everybody pretend my english is good to make me happy.  
> So heeeey what did you guys think?


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